I know all of the readers of this blog are probably going to be surprised to see that I have a temper. After all I am by far the sweetest, most kind, loving and compassionate person in the entire world...yeah, right. That'd be the day. :) I like to blame the Irish/Scottish blood that flows through my veins but I'm not sure that's really fair... Regardless of its origins I have a very volatile temper. It is something akin to the volcano that froze the city of Pompeii and all its inhabitants for all eternity. Or perhaps it is more like a huge pile of C4 with a tiny little fuse sitting directly next to a lit candle. I have this temper that always seems to be simmering just below the surface and the tiniest thing can send it in to a full rolling boil with fume pouring out of my ears and daggers flying out of my eyes. Poor Kevin has to tiptoe through a minefield on a daily basis. Luckily for Kevin this past Saturday he wasn't around when I hit the breaking point and exploded with a whole load of crazy.
Kevin and I recently had to move to a new home, and although there are plenty of things we really like about the new place both of us still really miss our old house. I think the thing that annoys me most about our new place is the people living above us. In the old place we occasionally heard the sound system of the people living above us but it really wasn't that big of a deal. In this new place it seems like the people above us are constantly pounding on the floor. We are not talking normal walking sounds, and not even just an acceptable amount of noise considering they have two children. This is a constant pounding on the floor for hours and hours at a time. The light on the ceiling rattles and the whole apartment if filled with "bam, thud, bam, thud, bam, bam, thud" from the time I get home from work at 5 to at least 9 or 9:30 at night.
I have been sick this past week and as Kevin can attest I am not a pleasant person to be around when I am sick and I can't breathe out of my nose. (Honestly, not being able to breathe out of my nose and not being able to hear out of my ears are probably the things that annoy me the most about being sick.) Anywho, they have been pounding on the ceiling every night this week while I have been sick. As I write this (while thinking rationally) I am able to realize they most likely do not know how loud they are and they certainly didn't know that I was sick. However, after a week of being sick and having both a pounding in my head and through the ceiling I was not being rational.
Kevin has normally been sitting on the couch next to me, or in the next room, as I am freaking out about how much I hate the noise, and he usually talks me out of doing anything too stupid. But he was not there on Saturday and my temper definitely got the better of me. I was sitting on the couch in the front room working on homework and I had been listening to the pounding for around 45 minutes when I hit my breaking point. I set down my computer, I sprawled over the end table to grab my shoe and then I jumped up on to the back of the couch. I started pounding like I never had before! I started smacking the ceiling as loudly as I possibly could! HA! Two can play that game, I thought to myself! You want to know what it's like? Do ya, punk? 'Cause you're about to find out just how annoying you really are!!! No more Mr. Nice Guy! THIS MEANS WAR! At first I thought I would just pound on the ceiling until the noise ceased but then my crazy thoughts got the better of me and I just wanted to show them how annoying they were and I just continued pounding until my arm got tired - so basically a good two minutes. :) It was then that I heard them moving around and doors opening and closing. That's about when I started freaking out. What had I just done? That was really stupid! What if they came down here? It's not like I could pretend I wasn't home... oops, I didn't really think that all the way through... Even though I knew it was dumb I turned down the TV, turned off all the lights and prepared to hide. It was then that I texted Kevin and informed him of my stupidity, which he found quite entertaining. He didn't waste any time informing me that my temper was definitely going to get the better of me some day. But what did he find when he got home? Beautiful, blissful, wonderful - silence! This past weekend has been the quietest, most wonderful two days of our stay in our new place. (Ok so maybe I shouldn't go that far but it has been pretty great)
So while I agree with Kevin that someday I'm going to end up in quite the predicament because of my temper, this weekend because of my and my temper I had a few hours of beautiful quiet. :)
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
All because Kevin had a coupon
Dreams are SO strange. And lately my dreams have been even more strange. I REALLY hope there is nothing prophetic about dreams or else I am in some serious trouble. I think my dream from last night takes the cake.
To fully appreciate this dream you have to understand my current family and life situation. As I'm sure some of your are aware, when Kevin and I got married almost a year ago two of Kevin's three sisters were pregnant and the third one had just had her little girl. Also at the same time, my one and only sister had recently found out that she too was pregnant. Now I have one niece that is just over a year old, a nephew that is just under a year old, another nice that is around 8 months old, and one last little niece who just cleared four months. My "other sister" just had her second baby, a little boy. And finally, it seems that every woman in the primary (I currently teach CTR4) is pregnant. Both the music instructors are pregnant, my team-teacher is pregnant, one of the women from the presidency just had a baby, and half of the other teachers are pregnant. I swear babies are popping out all over the place. All these babies everywhere are making me very paranoid as I am nowhere near prepared to have a child, and apparently this paranoia is working it's way into my dreams.
Now that you understand the situation...
I had a really wild dream last night in which I was at the hospital and I had just had a baby. For some reason in this wonderful hospital I didn't have a real hospital bed and instead I was on the floor. Even better than that my baby was on a little mat on the floor next to me. I however am clearly a trooper and I was completely unaffected by the fact that I had just delivered a baby and I didn't need any sort of medicine and I didn't even need an IV. I am freaking awesome, or I was in a third world country. Oh, and to top it all off I decided that I needed to go back to class. You heard that right, I needed to go back to class. After leaving the baby with the nurse, off I went. Wearing my really old Utah State sweatshirt. When I got to class the teacher wanted me to go teach my four-year-olds at which point I decided to play the "I just had a baby" card. When the teacher said she didn't know I was pregnant I said "yeah, the sweatshirt does a good job of hiding the baby weight, plus the baby came early, it came after only six months...so I'm not going to be able to teach" My teacher was of course shocked but she asked all the usual questions. How much did the baby weigh? How long was she? For some reason I had no idea, I blamed all the drugs they had me on for the birth and said that I was just so tired when they told me that I couldn't remember. That's when I was saved by a nurse named Peach. She did know all the stats but the only one that I remember was that the baby weighed nine pounds. Yeah, you read that right, I had a baby three months premature and it weighed NINE pounds.
The nurse then suggested that I go try to find my husband in the cafe. Yes, Kevin was apparently pigging out in the cafeteria the entire time I was giving birth to his giant, big headed baby. When I finally located the cafeteria I saw a sign saying that if you bought one drink you could get a second one free. For some reason I was very excited by the prospect of a drink but when I asked if I could have an apple juice the guy at the counter said that because I had just been through labor I couldn't drink apple juice. When he said I could drink milk I decided that sounded really good as well and asked for a large glass. The man at the counter then informed me that they didn't have any milk. When he said he didn't have any milk I demanded to know what he DID have. Apparently they didn't have milk but they did have every type of alcoholic beverage under the sun.
At this point Kevin finally showed himself and told me I should go back to the room to rest (on the floor remember). He decided that it was the perfect time to tell me why we were at this amazing five star hospital with no beds or milk and every type of alcohol known to man. He had a coupon book, actually he had four of them, and he used every one of them to get us a good deal on the baby.
The first order of business after opening my eyes? Taking my birth control, obviously. Then I smacked Kevin with a pillow and informed him that I was NOT giving birth to his 9 pound, giant-headed preemie, in a hospital with no milk and tons of alcohol. Kevin's response? Why were we at a hospital that didn't have any milk? "Because you had a coupon!" At that point Kevin just started cracking up laughing. I informed him that a nine-pound preemie was no laughing matter and he informed me it wasn't physically possible.
And there you go, that is the manifestation of my intense fear of becoming pregnant. I hope you enjoyed, and if you didn't...well...then I just don't know if we can be friends any longer.
To fully appreciate this dream you have to understand my current family and life situation. As I'm sure some of your are aware, when Kevin and I got married almost a year ago two of Kevin's three sisters were pregnant and the third one had just had her little girl. Also at the same time, my one and only sister had recently found out that she too was pregnant. Now I have one niece that is just over a year old, a nephew that is just under a year old, another nice that is around 8 months old, and one last little niece who just cleared four months. My "other sister" just had her second baby, a little boy. And finally, it seems that every woman in the primary (I currently teach CTR4) is pregnant. Both the music instructors are pregnant, my team-teacher is pregnant, one of the women from the presidency just had a baby, and half of the other teachers are pregnant. I swear babies are popping out all over the place. All these babies everywhere are making me very paranoid as I am nowhere near prepared to have a child, and apparently this paranoia is working it's way into my dreams.
Now that you understand the situation...
I had a really wild dream last night in which I was at the hospital and I had just had a baby. For some reason in this wonderful hospital I didn't have a real hospital bed and instead I was on the floor. Even better than that my baby was on a little mat on the floor next to me. I however am clearly a trooper and I was completely unaffected by the fact that I had just delivered a baby and I didn't need any sort of medicine and I didn't even need an IV. I am freaking awesome, or I was in a third world country. Oh, and to top it all off I decided that I needed to go back to class. You heard that right, I needed to go back to class. After leaving the baby with the nurse, off I went. Wearing my really old Utah State sweatshirt. When I got to class the teacher wanted me to go teach my four-year-olds at which point I decided to play the "I just had a baby" card. When the teacher said she didn't know I was pregnant I said "yeah, the sweatshirt does a good job of hiding the baby weight, plus the baby came early, it came after only six months...so I'm not going to be able to teach" My teacher was of course shocked but she asked all the usual questions. How much did the baby weigh? How long was she? For some reason I had no idea, I blamed all the drugs they had me on for the birth and said that I was just so tired when they told me that I couldn't remember. That's when I was saved by a nurse named Peach. She did know all the stats but the only one that I remember was that the baby weighed nine pounds. Yeah, you read that right, I had a baby three months premature and it weighed NINE pounds.
The nurse then suggested that I go try to find my husband in the cafe. Yes, Kevin was apparently pigging out in the cafeteria the entire time I was giving birth to his giant, big headed baby. When I finally located the cafeteria I saw a sign saying that if you bought one drink you could get a second one free. For some reason I was very excited by the prospect of a drink but when I asked if I could have an apple juice the guy at the counter said that because I had just been through labor I couldn't drink apple juice. When he said I could drink milk I decided that sounded really good as well and asked for a large glass. The man at the counter then informed me that they didn't have any milk. When he said he didn't have any milk I demanded to know what he DID have. Apparently they didn't have milk but they did have every type of alcoholic beverage under the sun.
At this point Kevin finally showed himself and told me I should go back to the room to rest (on the floor remember). He decided that it was the perfect time to tell me why we were at this amazing five star hospital with no beds or milk and every type of alcohol known to man. He had a coupon book, actually he had four of them, and he used every one of them to get us a good deal on the baby.
The first order of business after opening my eyes? Taking my birth control, obviously. Then I smacked Kevin with a pillow and informed him that I was NOT giving birth to his 9 pound, giant-headed preemie, in a hospital with no milk and tons of alcohol. Kevin's response? Why were we at a hospital that didn't have any milk? "Because you had a coupon!" At that point Kevin just started cracking up laughing. I informed him that a nine-pound preemie was no laughing matter and he informed me it wasn't physically possible.
And there you go, that is the manifestation of my intense fear of becoming pregnant. I hope you enjoyed, and if you didn't...well...then I just don't know if we can be friends any longer.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Profound Musings from the Mind of Kevin Conrad
From the very first time I met Kevin I knew he was a very smart boy. But as we dated a bit longer I learned just how intelligent he was when he finally let it slip that he was at school with a full ride scholarship. Each and every day since I am simply astounded by his incredible wisdom and after his awesome insight into the human condition last night I thought it was only fair that I share some of his Kevinisms with the rest of the world. To all those husbands out there looking for the ideal way to make their wife stop dead in her tracks, learn from this: Last night Kevin and I are joking around, teasing one another, generally having a good time as we get ready for bed. Just as we head to brush our teeth (Kevin had just been teasing me about my lack of personal hygiene and I was teasing him back with something equally as clever I'm sure) Kevin blurts out "I wish you were in a better mood more often." He then proceeded to explain that I'm much more fun when I'm in a better mood because he can play with me without getting in trouble. Luckily for him I suppose, I WAS in a 'better mood' last night and I found his comment extremely amusing.(Had I not been in a happy mood I probably would have transformed into my rabid alter ego and stalked off to bed in a huff.) As it is, I love his comment last night and it still has me laughing. :) I think my second favorite Kevinism came on a day when I wasn't in such a great mood. I know most people will find this hard to believe but I can be an extremely pig headed and argumentative person when in the right mood. And that was one of those days - poor Kevin couldn't move without getting in trouble. Well, about 9:00 that night (after terrorizing the poor boy since 6:30 that morning) I realized what a jerk I was being and I realized really needed to say I was sorry. Because I'm lucky and for some reason he still loved me he forgave me. Then he proceeded to help me figure out why I can be such a butt some days and why this then results in him turning on me. Kevin's incredible break through: We are BOTH butts! Not just any butts though - in his exact words "we are two cheeks of the same butt!" Now, to translate for those of you who don't speak Kevin: he was saying that when one of us gets in a bad mood it will almost certainly put the other one in a bad mood and then we will continue to feed off each other because when we get into a bad mood we are essentially the same annoyed person. Luckily, neither of us really likes being mad at one another either and we both feel the need to say sorry quickly - it also helps that we understand how the other one feels because at the very base of it, we feel exactly the same way. See how profound my husband is? Now if only we could convince him to have better timing and possibly better word choice... :) Oh, well, at least I can comprehend the Kevinisms most of the time... maybe after a bit more than six months I'll understand all of the Kevinisms and be in a better mood all of the time.
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