All because Kevin had a coupon

Dreams are SO strange. And lately my dreams have been even more strange. I REALLY hope there is nothing prophetic about dreams or else I am in some serious trouble. I think my dream from last night takes the cake.

To fully appreciate this dream you have to understand my current family and life situation. As I'm sure some of your are aware, when Kevin and I got married almost a year ago two of Kevin's three sisters were pregnant and the third one had just had her little girl. Also at the same time, my one and only sister had recently found out that she too was pregnant. Now I have one niece that is just over a year old, a nephew that is just under a year old, another nice that is around 8 months old, and one last little niece who just cleared four months. My "other sister" just had her second baby, a little boy. And finally, it seems that every woman in the primary (I currently teach CTR4) is pregnant. Both the music instructors are pregnant, my team-teacher is pregnant, one of the women from the presidency just had a baby, and half of the other teachers are pregnant. I swear babies are popping out all over the place. All these babies everywhere are making me very paranoid as I am nowhere near prepared to have a child, and apparently this paranoia is working it's way into my dreams.

Now that you understand the situation...
I had a really wild dream last night in which I was at the hospital and I had just had a baby. For some reason in this wonderful hospital I didn't have a real hospital bed and instead I was on the floor. Even better than that my baby was on a little mat on the floor next to me. I however am clearly a trooper and I was completely unaffected by the fact that I had just delivered a baby and I didn't need any sort of medicine and I didn't even need an IV. I am freaking awesome, or I was in a third world country. Oh, and to top it all off I decided that I needed to go back to class. You heard that right, I needed to go back to class. After leaving the baby with the nurse, off I went. Wearing my really old Utah State sweatshirt. When I got to class the teacher wanted me to go teach my four-year-olds at which point I decided to play the "I just had a baby" card. When the teacher said she didn't know I was pregnant I said "yeah, the sweatshirt does a good job of hiding the baby weight, plus the baby came early, it came after only six months...so I'm not going to be able to teach" My teacher was of course shocked but she asked all the usual questions. How much did the baby weigh? How long was she? For some reason I had no idea, I blamed all the drugs they had me on for the birth and said that I was just so tired when they told me that I couldn't remember. That's when I was saved by a nurse named Peach. She did know all the stats but the only one that I remember was that the baby weighed nine pounds. Yeah, you read that right, I had a baby three months premature and it weighed NINE pounds.

The nurse then suggested that I go try to find my husband in the cafe. Yes, Kevin was apparently pigging out in the cafeteria the entire time I was giving birth to his giant, big headed baby. When I finally located the cafeteria I saw a sign saying that if you bought one drink you could get a second one free. For some reason I was very excited by the prospect of a drink but when I asked if I could have an apple juice the guy at the counter said that because I had just been through labor I couldn't drink apple juice. When he said I could drink milk I decided that sounded really good as well and asked for a large glass. The man at the counter then informed me that they didn't have any milk. When he said he didn't have any milk I demanded to know what he DID have. Apparently they didn't have milk but they did have every type of alcoholic beverage under the sun.

At this point Kevin finally showed himself and told me I should go back to the room to rest (on the floor remember). He decided that it was the perfect time to tell me why we were at this amazing five star hospital with no beds or milk and every type of alcohol known to man. He had a coupon book, actually he had four of them, and he used every one of them to get us a good deal on the baby.

The first order of business after opening my eyes? Taking my birth control, obviously. Then I smacked Kevin with a pillow and informed him that I was NOT giving birth to his 9 pound, giant-headed preemie, in a hospital with no milk and tons of alcohol. Kevin's response? Why were we at a hospital that didn't have any milk? "Because you had a coupon!" At that point Kevin just started cracking up laughing. I informed him that a nine-pound preemie was no laughing matter and he informed me it wasn't physically possible.

And there you go, that is the manifestation of my intense fear of becoming pregnant. I hope you enjoyed, and if you didn't...well...then I just don't know if we can be friends any longer.